ALEXA LIVES 365

so when i found out from my friend that he still had it saying on his myspace “I’m currently in a relationship with an amazing lady, Alexa Rabini. She rocks my world! :) ” that broke my heart, because how could you forget to delete something you stupidly wrote and hour after i stupidly said yes to being your girlfriend, i didn’t forget to change my statuses back to single hahahha

And then it hurt even more when i found out he has moved on to another brunette, while i’m still hung up on him. I feel so immature too for being hung up on him, but in a past post that i already deleted, he made me feel like i was home, and his company, made me feel like i was at home, so thats the only reason why i’m hung up on him. But at least he hurt me sooner and not later.

so i’ve taken corbin’s advice and i’m unfollowing him on twitter. i’ll keep him on everything else and leave it up to him to delete me from there but twitter is my addiction and i can’t keep reading his updates about her. after i finish this i’ll post my favorite breakup song by the rocket summer that has been reminding me of him. i don’t know i’ll be over this soon. I have my best friends, it was just nice to have a “gentleman” in my life that made me feel home and safe for those somewhat two weeks.

So on friday night, when i got off work i went to JBC’s to hang out with Justin for his final real night in Vegas to visit his mom until his mom lets him come back which may not be until January 11th since he starts UNLV again the 12th anywho, we decided to all drink and get as wasted as we could, i had about 6 blue moon’s and 1 shot of Southern Comfort, because the taste was just not for me haha but yes we were all drunk, and did the crazy things you do when you are drunk.

And of course since i was drunk, i told Dana and Corbin my feelings i still have left for my ex. About how i miss his company and don’t understand how i could realize that i wanted him in my life and then he dumps me, because yeah i’ve never been dumped before, i always dump the guy so its been hard for me to understand especially since he ended it as “we drifted apart” and it just really blows and confuses my mind on how the fuck two people can drift apart in TWO DAYS! Plus, we were in the new couple mood and exactly like Tom and Summer form 500DaysofSummer until the night he hung out with his friends and did Ecstasy, thats when all the giddiness left and i became Tom from 500 Days of Summer and he became Summer.

Dana said what every girl usually says, but it was nice to talk to her, she’s been so good to Justin, and she is the perfect girlfriend for him and i just adore her.

And Corbin, i told him in detail the begging to present and he gave me the best advice ever. And its hard hearing over and over again, especially when you are drunk  but when Corbin said it to me drunk, it just hit me. Why am i letting myself be so upset over and over about this? Yeah maybe its because i still have him added on the internet so reading how his life is amazing without me makes me think about it over and over again on what went wrong but suddenly, i stopped crying, Corbin gave me a bear hug and made me look him in the eye and promise him that i wouldn’t let him win and i’d go back to being Summer from 500 days of summer. And now, Summer is my new name.

And i have vowed to myself that i will never rush into a relationship again. I will let it happen just like it did to Summer.

iamryanmiller:

Something I’ve never understood… something I don’t think I’ll ever understand.

You start talking to someone and everything seems to just click. You’re both single. You’re excited you’ve finally found someone you want to talk to all the time, see and spend time with. The feeling is mutual. They are without a doubt exactly what you’ve been looking for… and more. When you’re not with that person, the both of you are texting non stop. Not the boring kind of texting though; the texting that keeps a permanent smile on your face. They say things that make you laugh. They say sweet things that just make you want to go and give them a hug… no matter how far away they are at the time. When you do see them, it’s like nothing could be better. In your head, they’re quite possibly the most beautiful person you’ve ever met - inside and out. All physical stuff aside, you just like being at their side. Sex isn’t even on your mind. You want to take things real slow. You have great conversations, flirt, make jokes at the others expense, hold hands, kiss, etc. This goes on and on for about a month, you start to get to know the person well and you start to really care for the person. When you look at them you get this overwhelming feeling like “how did I get so lucky?” and you hug them so tight. It’s the start of something that you think will be so amazing.

Then just like that, they tell you they want to just be friends. But after all that, you can never look at them as just friends. Seeing them would only hurt at the moment. The only thing you can do is move on and hope someone else comes along who can bring out all of these feelings again. Well, here goes nothing…